on writing, being, & the work of communication
as i slowly bring myself to do the writings i’ve intended to do for quite some time, i’ve decided it may be helpful to note a number of beliefs and philosophies i hold regarding writing, being, and the work of communication (i.e. communion and community - three verbal human-made branches of the same essential tree).
this work, my work, the words you read here - this space will not always resonate fully and without hesitation. sometimes, i imagine, it will. there will be other times when it does not. Those times may be a result of milder differences of opinion, approach, or experience. Other times, they may be a result of a graver concern or perceived deep divergence of reality or perspective of right and wrong. regardless, i invite you to practice communing - being in communion, community, communication.
that means asking questions to investigate if your interpretation of the words, or your assumption of an implication of the words, aligns with my words and intended implications of those words (though, you’ll find that i rarely leave my discussion topics unresolved and in the hands of assumption or implication). it means asking questions to investigate if a belief or piece of information you hold might change my understanding, belief, or position, but not expecting it to. that means fact-checking yourself - bringing your whole reality of experiences to the table which offer windows into understanding and empathy, not only those experiences that are screaming the loudest when our bodies are in states of reaction.
in other words, talk to me. if you want to. you are welcomed, wanted, and invited. your opinions matter, and especially those opinions that differ than mine. my opinions are only a product of my experiences, my conversations, and my best efforts at learning, loving, and living (as are yours). every conversation can, and inherently does, iterate my positions, feelings, and senses of truth. while there is connection and stability in shared beliefs, there is little growth. as with many dichotomies, we all need a balance of both. i encourage you not to arrive to this space to “agree” with every word, to find a guru of absolute truth. while i imagine there will be some of you who find my approach powerful and in many ways true, i, like all of us, am both fallible and everchanging, which means my offerings are dynamic and never perfect.
additionally, i hesitate to even use the word “dichotomies” above, because the framing of opinions that “agree or disagree” or that are “the same or different” is actually a false dichotomy. the balancing act that we do is far more nuanced, with not just balancing the leanings of left and right on a tightrope, but actually balancing the limitless directions of all three dimensions. there is so much more to communication, community, and communing between the dichotomies of left and right, in and out, agree and disagree, good and bad. an idea almost always holds more than just one belief. i may agree with parts of an idea but not the conclusion. or, i may agree with the conclusion and corresponding actions of an idea but for different reasons. agreement and disagreement are not binaries.
it is in these folds of the textiles of beingness that the warmth lives. the warmth lives in the spaces of the ability to connect and in the forging of future paths through connection, not through rejection and disconnection. the warmth lives in the places that are not so easily click-baited, that are not as simple as a single bipolar thread of good and evil. a single thread, while incredibly valuable and impactful to the integrity and form when in connection and even tension with other fibers, alone is fairly unimpactful. alone it is easily cut, torn, misplaced, unseen, dismissed. even what may appear to be a single thread to our homo sapien eyes are actually many fibers in tension and connection with each other. in concert, communion, connection, and even tension with other threads we find integrity, shape, texture, comfort, warmth, generosity, and beauty. the textiles of beingness are multidimensional, and we weave them quite literally with every breath we breathe.
you are invited to weave our textile of beingness with me. here, in the space of words, is one place of invitation. there are other invitations, and if you are curious and/or called you may seek them out, and you are welcomed to. in this space, we are here with words. words are not the only threads in our textile of beingness, and there are many moons with many shades of beliefs around their potency as compared to other threads that we weave into the textiles of beingness, but they are threads regardless, and i am here to share and weave them with you.
an aside: i do not believe there is a functional online platform for group communication and discourse. comments sections are not functional dialogue - for many reasons. if there is anyone out there interested in developing a platform for actual connection, not division, for the iteration of voice and ideas, not echo chambers, please reach out. i would love to contribute strategic and functional direction to that project as i believe it is sorely needed.
in the meantime, fill out my contact form. i can communicate with you and then post our conversation with your name/identifying information obscured if you prefer. that way, community can also see and receive the benefits of processing
yes, being in communion, community, and communication requires work. of course, we are not always well resourced. yes, you may at times in your journey need to withdraw from communion, community, and communication to tend to yourself and come into restoration. these things are true and unavoidable. i do not expect or frankly even recommend a 100% rate of communion. i do, however, reach for and invite integrity. each of us are the only knowers of our own abilities and capacities. each of us are the only feelers of fears and blocks and discerners between surpassable fear and disabling fear. as you witness the pull in yourself to withdraw from community, from any opportunity to commune and communicate, what i do suggest is an honest and authentic appraisal of your integrity and your truth. if you need to withdraw, do it. if you have space to grow, to carry some labor, try it.
yes, we also have different relationships to one another and ideas based on our identities, our place-based perspectives, our lived and ancestral and embodied and disembodied experiences. yes, we’re talking power dynamics, racism and capitalism, and countless other isms and oppressions. again, offer yourself an honest appraisal, the best you can. only you know what types of communion, community, and communication are within your reach, even if a stretch. only you know when you are not able to earnestly, honestly, openly be in communion, for any number of an infinite reasons.
a final note.
i do not live for goodness. i live for my values - for integrity, alignment, and learning in pursuit of the knowledge and knowingness of whatever planetary truths exist in this plane of existence. my compasses are calibrated to my own alignment, and my self-reflection and openness to others’ feedback are my anchors for integrity. i will not try and convince you of goodness, nor expect goodness of you. i will ask you of your values, and ask you if you feel you are in true alignment and integrity with your values.
in my practice, i have found that the relationship between values alignment and integrity is reciprocal. holding a value but not being able to live in integrity with that value offers oneself a window into the truths of this planetary plane. Perhaps that value is not realistic. Perhaps it is inhuman. Perhaps it is not aligned with the truths of this existence. Perhaps perfectionism is unattainable, and the pursuit of it harmful. Perhaps that is no longer one of my values. What of my values remain? Is there something that now replaces perfectionism? I begin again, in practice of my values. Perhaps the practice of other values seems to align with truth. Perhaps those values carry more weight. This practice of values alignment and integrity is the only path for me, for now. it is the only path that has emerged from any practice i have entered into with thoughtfulness, mindfulness, heartfulness. beingness.
i continue to find that the common alternative, to champion goodness, is only an avoidance of the truth that this planet holds inescapable suffering. this planet appears so far to me to be a practicing ground to manage, release, and attempt to never perpetrate suffering. so far i’ve also come to believe that this planet necessitates that not one of us will ever be entirely successful in our attempts never to perpetrate suffering (there is also a question of whether or not suffering can be perpetrated, as perhaps the only one who can perpetrate suffering on oneself is themselves, but, the existence of harm seems fairly certain, and for the purposes of this high level commentary, this distinction is not a salient point). instead, what my practice has borne witness to is that this planet requires that we be in some form of communion, community, communing, communication. we cannot thrive as individuals. even those who go off to live off-grid alone for days or weeks or months at a time bring with them tools built in an ecosystem of community, lessons and skills learned from community, and years of experience being fed and supported (albeit imperfectly) by community. i must be the zillionth being to express this perceived truth (if we assume time is linear), certainly not the first, and even in the time it has taken me to express it there are already others expressing it after me. yet, it still appears to get lost. sometimes i lose it myself. here i am, in practice.
to share this writing with you is a practice. i practice my communion, communication, community in this action. welcome. join if you so please, or as you find yourself pulled by a practice of your own.